So I’ve been thinking . . . about friendships, specifically female friendships. I’m at this point where I’m reevaluating my life, from my career to my relationships. And it got me to thinking about my friendships.
When I got divorced, my small circle of friends got me through it. (I could write a whole essay just on that experience. I would not have become the woman I am without them.) And yet, I craved the companionship of others going through the same thing as me. With a bit of resistance and a lot of hesitancy, I joined a support group for women going through divorce. And while I didn’t form lasting friendships with any of the women, we supported each other and understood each other. And it was just what I needed at the time.
After a divorce, most women think about finding their next partner. And while I did want a partner and I did the dating thing, my first priority was to create a community of women friends. I am really blessed to have a great group of close friends. These are the friends I laugh with, cry with, are brutally honest with, get brutal honesty from, am silly with, have deep discussions with, share my heart and soul with, go on adventures with, celebrate successes with, mourn losses with, and have a damn good time with. These are the kind of friendships where we bring out the best in each other and stand by each other at our worst.
I’m not one to have casual friendships (though I have some). As my friend Ali has told me, “You are all or nothing when it comes to relationships.” That’s true, there’s not a lot of in between for me. As an introvert and an Aries, I am more interested in meaningful relationships and would rather have a small close few friends than a large group of casual friends. In fact, as a kid, I had a hard time understanding that friends come and go. To me, once you were friends, you were friends for life. Now, of course, I understand as our lives evolve, we have different needs, lifestyles, and experiences. People come and go into our lives for a reason.
And that’s ok. Ultimately, when it comes to friends, to quote Lily Tomlin, I look for “someone who has a sense of fun, who’s audacious, who’s forthcoming, who has politics, who has even a small scrap of passion for the planet, someone who’s decent, has a sense of justice and who thinks I’m worthwhile.”
As my life is changing again, I think about that need to be with people experiencing the same things. And I’m grateful for my core group of friends. The bottom line is, our friendships matter. We need our female friends. And thank god for them!
And another thing (or two or five) . . .
- Oh my god, my friends and I have had some of these same text conversations.
- How cute are these unlikely animal friends?
- A sweet story not only celebrating age but the bonds of friendship.
- For National Women’s History Month, Michelle Obama honors female veterans.
- As if I needed another reason to eat chocolate–but I’m glad I do.
I’ve been reading . . . Furiously Happy and Olive Kitteridge still. Not loving Furiously Happy. I read Jenny Lawson’s first book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. Loved it. This book, not so much. I feel pummeled over and over by the fact that she suffers from depression, mental illness, and all kinds of phobias.
I get she has mental illnesses, and I fully appreciate how she brings attention to and understanding of what it’s like to go through all this. I love the support she creates for those who are going through the same thing and the education for those who are not. She vividly explains what it feels like to have depression, anxiety, and phobias in substantial way. While I appreciate all that, I’m not entirely stupid and so unfeeling I need to be beaten over the head with it in essay after essay after essay.
I’ve been watching . . . nothing really. Counting down the days until Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and Game of Thrones. I’m constantly researching anything and everything about GoT. I know, I know, the big question . . . is Jon Snow really dead? I think he is. I don’t care what the “buzz” is: he’s in the teasers, he’s in the trailer, he’s on the poster, Melisandre will bring him back to life, and whatever small straw of hope people can grasp. Will he or won’t he come back in some form? Who knows? I’m not hopeful about it because HE’S DEAD. Believe me, I wish he weren’t.
No Jon Snow makes me less excited to watch the show. Because at this point, while I am used to people dying on the show, I’m finding it hard to root for anyone because there are no good guys/women left. Seriously, why is it that the good people are killed off constantly and the bad people keep surviving every season? I mean, come on, the Lannisters seem to be immortal. And what about those damn Boltons? Geez, we have like 99 bad guys and 1 good guy and now he’s dead. So what’s the point? Sigh. I guess I’ll just have to wait 44 more days to find out.
I’ve been listening to . . . James Morrison again and again. I adore this guy (as if you couldn’t tell). He released a new video for “I Need You Tonight,” which is one of my favs off his new album.
(Image found here.)